It's been a busy week this week between Haylie's Dr. Appointment, Justin speaking at Vamoosa Baptist Church for Bible study, and getting things ready around the BCM for school to start at SSC on Monday! We've been up late the past few nights making t-shirts, stuffing goody bags, and we're planning on helping students move into the dorms tomorrow morning!
I don't know exactly what it is but I've felt "down" the past few days. With everyone starting back to school and the excitement of it all I have sort of been missing the advantages of working. I don't want to go to work because I don't want to leave Haylie. I love staying at home with her.....most of the time. But, there are advantages to working, namely, MONEY! I realize that staying at home with her was a sacrifice that both Justin and myself thought would be best for all of us, and deep down in my heart I know that's true. However, there's that selfish part of me that thinks..."If I worked and we had a little extra money, maybe I could go buy some clothes for me and Haylie, or maybe I could run to town and look around a little more often without worrying about wasting too much gas!....or maybe we could grab a bite to eat out without thinking about the cost once in awhile!"
Staying at home is HARD. You're probably thinking: "Yeah right"!! But it really is, it's a hard job that at times, seems unrewarding on the surface. I'm selfish, and I'm trying to work on it, but it just seems that these past few days have been particulary hard. I want to be one of those moms that absolutely LOVES every minute of being at home with their child. Whether playing with kids, cooking, cleaning, whatever I want to be 100% content... But is any person 100% content 100% of the time?!
Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Man, going back to work would be so much easier PLUS I'd get paid for it!" But then I get sad knowing that it's not what I really want to do to Haylie.
Haylie is very rewarding! She is such a blessing from God and is so sweet. She's become pretty clingy to me which at most times I love. She's started walking and just loves laughing and having fun. She is the sweetest little girl in the world, to me at least. She's so smart and aware of things around her and I really do LOVE her and being with her.
When I'm having these pity parties for myself, I just need to remember EVERTYHING that God has blessed me with: Salvation, A Godly Husband, Haylie, a nice home, family, a great church & church family, money to pay the bills, vehicles to drive, etc, etc....there are so many blessings that God has provided. Too many to count. But maybe I should take a little more time each day to try and count my blessings...
"Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God has done.
Count your blessings, name them one by one, count your many blessings see what God has done!"
Pineapple Teriyaki Sauce
1 week ago
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I know how you feel. I loved staying at home with Will this summer, but it was so much work. I could have stayed home with him and had absolutely no extra money, or go to work and have extra money. It's a really hard decision to make, because I don't think you're sure of it 100% of the time. I'm hoping this year or next year will be my last year to teach and I can do my photography business instead!
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